The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

Child suffered mentally through domestic abuse on mother by ex father


Have separated from partner of 15years, due to domestic abuse towards myself and our children. Therefore he has been charged with this, he is not allowed to have any contact with myself and the children at all. The abuse also involved his family. However not long ago his parent was diagnosed with a terminal illness and is requesting to see the grandchildren, their father has said he will not be present however i feel this will cause further distress to my children as they are still very young. I feel scared myself to visit and feel as a parent i have tried my best to protect my children from the toxicity of their father and his family but now i am torn between religion and what is expected by me in regards to someone being severally ill and what i should do in order to protect my children and their mental health. my children and me have been through alot and only just they are settling back in. I am not sure if this is also a tactic from my ex to manipulate the current ongoing domestic abuse allegations case. Please help me and advice thank you.


Wa alaykum salaam

We appreciate the concern you have for yourself and especially your children.
May Allah protect them.

I can understand the state you are in and how difficult it must be for you to make a decision.
My suggestion is ; ask your conscience by keeping Allah in mind, does it allow you to deprive an old man from seeing his grandchildren?

There is be a possibility that what they are saying and requesting is true and thus if you dont allow such a meeting, your conscience might blame you.

You can fulfil the grandfathers last wish by sending the children under the supervision of authorities or you can go yourself and take a few family members with you to avoid any unforeseen problems.

I am sure if you talk to your children and explain to them the reality, they will not only understand but appreciate the goodness and kindness in you.

My prayers are with you. Hope you make the right decision which will please Allah s.w.t.

Sukaina Taqawi.