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can mother in law take away things without knowledge

Q:

Assalamo alikyum, I left a very expensive gold ring in my bathroom that been abducted by my mother in law. I found it in her bag and did not take it out. Now she has realized that i checked her bag and telling me that parents can steal things from their children as they raised children. And when kids were young everything was at their disposal and parents wont say anything when children used that stuff. So, if now parents steal or hide something from son’s house whether it belongs to daughter in law it is absolutely fine. She was also quoting some Hadith to back up her saying. To make my point, I made the ring from my own money and had always paid zakat on it. My husband didnt buy it for me. I asked her if she had seen my ring and she replied no. She has also hidden small stuff in her bags e.g. sunglasses, sweets, pins etc.My question is that is it ok for parents to put children’s stuff away without their knowledge (I’ll call it stealing though )? Can mother in law take away daughter in law’s stuff without her knowledge? Is it not stealing? Is it not stealing in my case where i asked her if she had seen my ring and she said no. Kindly guide us Jazak Allah

A:

Salaam sister.

I read through your situation and personally i think you handled it very well. Instead of showing bad behaviour or being rude to your mother in law for taking your ring, you chose to remain silent. At the end of the day she is your husbands mother, hence counts as your mother as well and islam always tells us to have good akhlaq with our parents and be patient with them even if they are wrong.
A mother or a mother inlaw is not allowed to take anything that belongs to her children or daughter in law without their permission. But it would be morally wrong to confront them even though the children have a right to do so according to the Islamic law. So it would be better to find a different way; either by talking to them politely or by asking someone to talk to them and explain what Islam has to say in this matter or some other solution that would mantain their respect, because respecting parents is where Allahs pleasure lies.

May Allah help us to attain His pleasure at all times inshaAllah.

Zahra Davdani.