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My husband isn’t very supportive, I wish to separate.


Asalam o alaikum..
Please guide me in the light of Quran and Ahadees as my situation is very painful for me and my kids.
I have 3 daughters all under 5 years and I’m married since 6 years. My husband is Canadian citizen so I came here after 5 months of my marriage. Those starting months of my marriage at my inlaws home were horrible. My husband’s brother is very decent and do justice in our matter but my mother in law is very double faced ,jealous, greedy and selfish. She started creating problems for me from day 1 of my marriage and even before my marriage.
On the other hand husband is sometimes supportive when he’s in good mood but when things are not done according to him which includes household chores he gets mad and always threatens me that he will leave me.
He insults me and brings my weaknesses in every fight, always prolongs fight into days,never understand my feelings or my point of view and kind of emotional abusive.
As I have daughters which are very attached to him and he is very good and loving father no doubt.
Now I want to separate but I think of my daughters and now he is also saying that I don’t want separation and I will not repeat these words,what should I do.
I know he will become good temporarily but after some time again these fights and issues will start.
Having fights every other week is not normal and good for our mental health, so instead of living together and suffering should I separate from him.


Assalamu alaykum

thank you for your question.

From your Question, i believe that you can still be hopeful towards your Married life. you need to seek some counseling,  it can be from an elderly your husband will listen to, or your local scholar. you must try your best to save your marriage.

as for Talaq, it should be the last straw a person should be using. It may be a Halal solution, but Allah (az) doesn’t like it. And as for your case, you are only married for the past 6 yrs. Hence, you must give your relation some time and in the meantime try your best to mend your relation. It will be very sad for your daughters to miss out on their father, more so, because you mentioned that he is a good father.
so, for the sake of your kids, you must convey your concern and worries to him and together you should be able to move forth for your children..

also, your husband must know and understand that a woman does her house chores and the like out of love and devotion for her family. she is not obliged to do this. hence, he should make sure that she is well looked after and taken care of. on the other side he will be encouraged to do this by seeing you giving him love and attention. its a two way thing

hope this was useful