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AssalaamuAlaikum. I’m from India. My mother, a gem of a woman, passed away in May 2018. She was the only person in my family whom I could find a connect with. She used to encourage me to perform Islamic acts and become better muslim, at the same time balancing the duniya. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same relationship with my father. We seldom spoke. I rarely saw him pray. He became somewhat regular just a few years ago, when he was stopped earning and that too when was greatly urged by my mother. My father’s side of the family often perfoms chirag fatiha (certain biddah activites). On on such incidence, with all respect, I asked him,”Did you pray today”?, to which he proudly replied, “yes. I did 3 times!. That’s enough when one is busy”. He was busy in preparing stuff for this very chirag. I really felt hurt. My grandfather would be turning in his grave at this. I tried to encourage him to try and start memorizing Qur’an, go out in the local community to learn more about Islam. He bluntly says he doesn’t want to. His entire day is spent in watching nonsense TV episodes, or just laying down and pondering about some unknown stuff. Yea he cooks for both of us. And his sisters n other elders pressurize me to get married so that my would be wife will cook n perform daily chores. I don’t want to get married for this reason. I wanted to get married for companionship. I definitely don’t want my children to learn such traits from him. I don’t want my would be wife to think bad about him. While before I’m married, I don’t want such act of seeing him lazying around impact my own productivity (Deen n duniya both). At the same time, I wanna tell you I love and respect him. I’ll take care of his expenses, I’ll take care of his medical insurance, will visit him time to time. Will keep a domestic help if required. Being still single myself, can I ask to stay independent?


Waalykum salam 

Thank you for your Question.
According to the Islamic law it isn’t compulsory to live with your father under one roof. However it is highly highly recommended to make sure that he is happy with you.

So this will be a personal decision for you. Maybe relating your thoughts in a beautiful and decent way  to your father can help him change and become a better role model to his ‘to be’ grandchildren.

Kind regards

Naajiya Jaffery