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Can I marry a non virgin woman?


Asalam o alaikum.

I want to ask you a question about my love problems and marriage..I am 26 year old and Alhamdulillah Doctor by profession ,I’m in a relation with a girl  since 2 years, I love her with all my heart. And she is my first love and I’m a virgin. She has had a boyfriend and she is not a  virgin , firstly tell me can I marry a non-virgin girl in Islam? And the second thing is I love her with my all but she does not love me the way I love her. Sometimes she ignores me, mostly she gives priority to her friends instead of me. Sometimes I think she does not love me as I deserve. She has no time for me. She has not told her family about our relationship. I dont know if love is halal or haram in Islam, but I’ve read somewhere that the thing you do in love is different whether the love is halal or haram and Alhamdulillah I did nothing wrong, I want to approach her officially. She used to lie and never fulfils her promises/commitments, She has never been pious and truthful in her speech, I’ve read somewhere the fornicator never fulfils promises and commitments and is jealous of their partner…. but We have decided to marry. Kindly let me know if is it good to marry that type of girl. Please help me I have lost my peace and happiness..Please guide me to the right path… please guide me in clear words What should I do?


Waalaykum al-Salam

Thank you for your question.

To begin with, I would like to mention that any relation with a non-mahram is haram. And regardless of the fact that you have had any physical relationship or not, is still considered haram.

Marriage is supposed to bring happiness and tranquillity to you. But that doesn’t seem to be the case in your situation. If a man like you, who has been so careful with how he lives and does not indulge in Haram things, should look for a better half that is better or equally good like himself.

I will suggest you seek some Islamic counselling from a local Aalim. someone who doesn’t know both of you and sees what the greater perspective of life is. In my humble opinion, a wife who is not truthful in her character does not set time for you, does not see you as important to mention her family, does not keep her promise, and lies. etc. would not be a suitable match for anyone for the matter.

Hence, it is best to go back to the basic requirements for selecting a spouse and that is God’s wariness. A woman who Is God-wary does not have the above-mentioned ills, at least does not show them vividly. It is important to remind oneself that she is not only going to be your wife, but also a mother to your children. What kind of character and behaviour are you expecting from your daughters? Do you have the right role model for them as your wife and their mother?

I will suggest you read the following:

I pray you Find the right person, who will understand your worth and cherish your sincerity.