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Can I make dua to marry someone whom I like?

Q:

Dear Brother,

May Allah Reward you with the amazing work that you are doing. I pray that Allah gives you the best life in this world and hereafter!

I am a sister who is 23 years old. I write you from Pakistan.Though by name we are an Islamic Republic, but there is nothing Islam in its true sense here. The rich don’t care about anything. The poor is involved in paganism. The middle class is divided. Some are chasing duniya, many are atheist. Few are mommin.

In this materialistic world I met this guy. He was humble, he still is, and he is righteous. He gave me a lot of attention. He promised me that he will marry me. Satan came in. We started to sext. In this we held hands. But, there was no physical interaction of another sort. After a week the boy stops me. He said that we will end up doing haram. So, we stopped and repented. Now we have decided to talk when the time for marriage comes. I have to give my civil service exam and pass. I can’t marry till my training. And, he has his goals. He wants to open a charity for fighting poverty, spread education and etc. I have two questions. One is spiritual and other is social.

Spiritual one: Can I make dua to Allah to marry me to this person. We did transgress initially, but now we have repented, and we have stopped. We plan to seek marriage after two years. Is it okay to ask Allah for such a union that was haram in first place.

Social Question: He is a pathan, I am a punjabi, he is 20, I am 23. He is an doctor, doctor family. I am from a bureaucratic family. Our parents think that its their birth right to decide who we should marry. There are too many social difference between the two families. Islam makes it easy, but society makes it difficult. How should we convince our parents. The examples of sahaba don’t work!

A:

Wa alaykum salam

Thank you for your question

It is nice to know that both of you are  committed, mature and practicing Muslims and are trying your best to live according to the  teachings of Islam.

But as human beings are not perfect ,there are times people make mistakes. The person who makes mistakes and after realizing his mistakes, tries to corrects them is very dear in the eyes of Allah swt.

So if you have made a mistake and then repented for it, you should not lose hope as Allah is very Merciful.

You asked whether you can make dua to  marry this person…..i would say that it is very important for each and every person to ask from Allah  for even the smallest thing in life as it is He who is the sustainer, the giver and is aware of what is in our hearts. And to ask for a partner who is God fearing is very much recommended .

Your second question as how to convince  your parents  to accept this proposal. I know it might not be very easy but if you constantly try talking to your parents with love and patience it might help in changing their mind. You can also take help from a  reliable person in your family or community to talk to them….someone whom they trust.

But as your well-wisher, I would say that it is not wise to wait for two years to get married . Shaytan is always there to mislead a na mahram man and woman who are constantly in touch with each other.

If your families agree,you should at least become mahram to each other and the wedding ceremony can take place after two years.

Inshaallah with duas and trust on Allah,you will get what is best for you.

Sukaina Taqavi