The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

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Can I intervene mother on wifes command



I financially support my mother (from abroad) and my wife asks me to intervene my mother’s wrong doing to her divorced daughter, by asking her not to do any harm to her divorced daughter’s children. If my mother does not follow my advice, I should stop her by threatening i.e. stopping financial support to my mother or simply I should not talk to my mother anymore.

What should I do?



Mothers in Islam are held in very high esteem and several verses of the Holy Quran and traditions of the Holy Prophet and His pure progeny attest to that. You are therefore doing the right thing to be helping your mother financially. In matters like these, you should never take the advice of anyone and strictly follow what Allah has ordered you in the Holy Quran.
The best you can do is to gently advice your mother reminding her of her duty towards her grandchildren and how she stands as an example to be emulated from, by her grand children. More than doing so, it would be ideal to explain the mother of the children to play her role of upbringing her children so that they remain in the right path whilst knowing how to behave towards their elders.
If you feel that the financial help towards your mother is not used in the appropriate way, give her what suffices her and provide for your sister and her children also.
Be as patient as you can when dealing with matters regards parents and family relationships because these are part of the challenges that Allah will test us with.
Remember that Allah is with those who are on the right path so you need not worry when you have followed His commands and taken the right action.

Salma Alavi.