Ask an Alim

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

All the below rulings are according to Ayatullah al-Udhma Sayyid Ali Sistany:

• Can a Shia girl marry Sunni boy:

If a Shia girl wants to marry a Sunni boy and if there is fear of deviation and misguidance, it is not permissible for the girl to marry.

• Can a Syed marry a non-Syed?

It is not Haram for a Syed to marry a non-Syed, unfortunately this concept is found in some of the subcontinent.

Question: Can a Sayyid girl marry a non-Sayyid man?

Answer: It is permissible and there is no objection to it.

www.sistani.org/english/qa/01250/

• Father’s consent in marrying a daughter

Question: I am virgin girl but independent financially. Is it is necessary to obtain my guardian’s permission for marriage?

Answer: It is necessary to seek your father or paternal grandfather’s permission.

Question: I am a virgin girl, do I need to seek my father’s permission for temporary or permanent marriage?

Answer: Yes, it is necessary.

www.sistani.org/english/qa/01250

Ayatullah al-Udhma Sayyid Ali Sistany says:

In marrying a virgin woman, whether Muslim or from Ahlul Kitab, it is necessary to get the consent of her father or paternal grandfather, if she is not independent. However, it is precautionary obligatory to seek their consent [i.e., of the father or the paternal grandfather], even if she is independent. Consent of the woman’s brother, mother, sister or other relations is not required.

The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather to marry a virgin woman, who is both adult and sensible, is not required [in the following cases:]

If they stop her from marrying someone who is her equal in the eyes of both shar’ia and common practice;

If they completely withdraw from the involvement in her marriage;

when it is not possible to get their consent because of their absence.

In these cases, she is permitted to marry, if she is in need of marriage.

The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather is not required in the marriage of a non-virgin woman (that is, a girl who had previously married and had sexual intercourse). But the case of the woman who had lost her virginity because of fornication or another cause is like that of a virgin.

www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2062

Some other rulings:

Ruling 2392. If a woman is wedded to a man without their consent and afterwards the man and the woman consent to the marriage, the marriage contract is valid. Furthermore, for their consent [to be understood], it is sufficient that they say something or do something that conveys their consent.

Ruling 2393. If a man and a woman, or one of them, is compelled to marry, and after the marriage contract has been concluded they consent to it in the manner that was mentioned in the previous ruling, the contract is valid. It is better, however, that the contract be concluded again.

Ruling 2395. If a girl wishes to get married and she has reached the age of legal responsibility (bulūgh) and is mature (rashīdah) – meaning that she is able to determine what is in her interest – and she is a virgin, and she is not in charge of her life’s affairs, such a girl must obtain the consent of her father or grandfather. In fact, based on obligatory precaution, even if she in charge of her life’s affairs, she must still obtain their consent. The consent of her mother or brother is not necessary.

Ruling 2396. If a girl is not a virgin, or if she is a virgin but her father or paternal grandfather totally prevent her from marrying every individual who is legally (sharʿan) and commonly considered to be appropriate for her, then it is not necessary for her to obtain their consent. Furthermore, if they are not at all prepared to participate in the matter of her getting married, or if they are not competent to give their consent because of insanity or suchlike, then in these cases, their consent is not necessary. Similarly, if it is not possible to get their consent because they are absent or because of some other reason, and if the girl has a great need to get married at that time, the consent of her father or paternal grandfather is not necessary.

www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2330

• Who should we marry:

If a person can find a religious Sunni boy, then you can definitely find a pious Shia boy as well. Comparing the worst from Shia side with the pious of another sect isn’t a good comparison. We do have good shia unmarried boys but one must look for it, otherwise we may just see those boys who aren’t religious. As marriage is something where you can’t get out easily once married so a person must be very careful in finding a partner. If you think by marrying a Sunni boy will not let you deviate from Shiism, then you can marry the Sunni boy with your father’s consent. Father’s consent is must as regarding the wedding of a girl, if she is a virgin the consent of her father is necessary.

In marrying a daughter along with father’s consent, girl’s consent should be there as well. You can speak to your parent’s specially your father regarding it tell him in a polite way that it is not haram for a syed to marry a non syed. But make sure the criteria for the boy you want to choose as your life partner should be Iman(Faith) and akhlaq and at the same time you can look for a good shia boy if you don’t marry the sunni boy.

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider