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Bad behaviour of relatives


My relatives which includes my khala’s and cousins Was mean from the start. But their bad behaviour at my marriage, some of them don’t bothered attending my wedding. After my wedding , they never ask me to come to their place, they have done umrah they never congratulated me, then Allah blessed me with a baby girl , they again not visited me. I have listened to so many bad things they say about me.
Now this is a point that I have nothing left in my heart for them… please tell me that if i dont meet them I am a guneghar then? Will Allah be angry on me?
Because they have broken my heart so many times I have no feelings for them. I am not their bad wisher but neither i want to meet them. I feel like i am done with them.
They have hurted my mama so many times till now … please anwer my queries. Thankyou


Alaikum salam.

Islam is a complete religion and has based its foundation on having a social system which has moral values.
One of these values lie in maintaining kinship with the near relatives who also include the siblings of both your parents.
Its unfortunate that your aunt has not relaized the importance that Allah has kept in this relationship, although the right thing to do is to give them all the due respect even if they do not deserve that.
You could write or message to them every week or fortnight with a greeting and wishing well for them through praying for them in general. Its good to Ask Allah that they should be guided. Who knows, it could be that through your prayers, they will turn out to change their behaviour and become softer towards you and your mother whom they would admire for raising up a daughter like yourself.
When a believer obeys what he or she has been commanded by Allah, there is certainly a reward for them in this world as well as the hereafter.
Sile Rahmi has many rewards that one enjoys in this world also, like, a long life, increase in sustenance, removal of distress etc.
However, if the ties towards the near relatives are cut, the consequences would be such that your situation would turn out worse than it is at present.
All it takes is a firm will to decide and a good control over yourself with the help of Allah to start off doing salam to them whilst maintaining your self respect ofcourse.
Remember, even if they dont reply, you have done your part and will have a peaceful feeling of obeying the commands of Allah s.w.t.

Salma Alawi.