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Asking About forced promise


Assalam o Alaikum! Respected Sir, I want to ask you that if a girl is forced by her brother to promise to him not to talk to any boy ever and the promise is made by putting her hand on the Quran Shareef. But the girl just made the promise due to fear, not from her heart and wants to talk to a boy. As per my knowledge, no one can forcibly make you do anything in Islam. “So can she break the promise and talk to a boy”? And if yes, Is there any “Kafara”?
I will be really Thank full if you do your kindness on this issue and think about it! Please Looking for Your earliest response…
Thank You Very Much!!


Wa Alaykumussalam

Thank you for your question

Sister, even without promising, talking to a non-mahram is Haram. If one even fears to fall into sin. Therefore, the girl must refrain from speaking to a non-mahram.

Question: Is it permissible to chat with girls on the internet?

Answer: If it is feared that they might be drawn towards sin, it is not permissible. Normally chatting ends up in a sin for both sides.

Question: Can I be in a friendly relationship with a girl in my class.

Answer: All kinds of relations with a non-mahram including joking, expressing mutual love, talking with the intention of deriving pleasure, looking at the body of a girl (except her face and hands up to the wrists) and at her hair or looking at her face with pleasure are Haram (forbidden). In fact, if it is feared that they might fall into a sin, it is forbidden for them to have any kind of relationship with each other.



  • A Man promises in the name of God or His attributes, such asمقلب القلوب و الابصار” ” or attributes that are often used for Allah and the usage is for the Almighty God and not others, such as the رازق  (Creator), خالق (Sustainer) and رحیم (Merciful), in any language, he swears to do or leave something.
  • If Qasam is performed by taking the names of Masumeen, it isn’t valid.


Kaffarah for breaking Nadhr(vow) or Promise(Qasam):

If a person intentionally does not fulfill his oath, he will have committed a sin and he must give recompense (kaffārah). That is, he must either feed ten poor people (fuqarāʾ), or clothe them. And if he cannot do any of these, he must fast for three consecutive days.


The oath must be sworn by one of those names of the Almighty Allah which are exclusively used for Him, (e.g. ‘Allah’). And even if he swears by a name which is used for other beings also, but is used so extensively for Him, that when any person utters that name one is reminded of Him Alone, for example, if he swears by the name Khaliq (the Creator) and Raziq (the Bestower), the oath will be in order.

In fact, if he uses other names or attributes of Allah, which do not remind of Him, but give that connotation when used during an oath, like Samee’ (All Hearing) or Baseer (All Seeing), even then the oath will be valid.

Question: If a person breaks his oath, what is he supposed to do?

Answer: If a person takes an oath that he will perform an act (e.g. that he will fast) or will refrain from doing an act (e.g. that he will not smoke), but does not intentionally act according to his oath, he should give Kaffarah for it, which means he should should fully feed ten indigent persons, 750 grams of food stuffs (wheat or bread or rice). And if he is not able to perform these acts, he should fast for three consecutive days.


If one is really forced to make a promise, then it is not counted as a promise but if one is not forced then it is with one’s own freewill.

May Allah(swt) grant you success


Syed Haider