The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

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Are they still married islamically even if husband disappeared for years


My mum n dad were married for 40 years. He then left her and went to Pakistan and married another woman who left him and he did this again and again finally finding one. He got her pregnant and bought her to the UK where she got q house. He had 4 kids with her and we thought that was the end he’s gone and good riddance Once she got a British passport she divorced him and kicked him out the house. Now he wants to come back to my mum but I’ve told him he’s not welcome here as he is now a stranger as Islamically although he didn’t say talaq his actions prove they are no longer man and wife. Can you please confirm this so we can get him out of our lives for good Thanks

Although you all went through a tough time with your father, he is still considered to be a legal husband for your mother even if he didn’t announce the statement of divorce.  If your mother wanted the divorce, then she would claim for it by getting it legally through the Islamic law especially after her husband’s act of dissaperance. This is not taking any sides, but a matter of fact and a law of Islam.
Now that your father is back, it only seems best to forgive him specially if he has regretted his mistake and wanted to find solace in his first family, ie you all.
As a father and husband, he has a right over you all which you should not take lightly. Try all your best to patch things up between yourselves and Allah will help you and send His blessings for sure. He loves those who forgive others even if they do not deserve it just as it is His way to forgive His undeserved creatures. Don’t hesitate to take this action and give him atleast a chance to be a father for you all, and a husband for your mum in the real sense. If you still think he is not living up to his duties, then your mother can claim for a divorce, and if he is not ready to divorce her, then the representative of your marja will have to decide what is the best option. All in all, you will have done your best so you will not regret that. It feels great to forgive and only one who does that can know. I pray that we all be part of this great blessing.
Salma Alavi.