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Am I a muslim right now ?

Q:

I was really young dont really remmember what age but I think I hit my head or something and out of anger I swore at Allah like actually swore. Now I am 22 now and since couple of months this thought of this situation came and i have been saying the kalimah la ilaha … with english meaning so many times but I never feel satisfied , Am I a  muslim right now ? I dont know if I am a muslim and also am a  Hanafi can I follow your answer ? In such a situation does one become a non muslim since that situation have I been a non muslim and what am I now?

A:

Salamun Alaykum

Thank you for your query.

وَهُوَ الَّذِي يَقْبَلُ التَّوْبَةَ عَنْ عِبَادِهِ وَيَعْفُو عَنِ السَّيِّئَاتِ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا تَفْعَلُونَ

It is He who accepts the repentance of His servants, and excuses their misdeeds and knows what you do. (Surah Shura/25)

If you had repented sincerely, then Allah(swt) has forgiven you. The true repentance should be done.

Some of the essentials and conditions for Tawbah are:

  1. To remorse over the past.
  2. The resolution is not to return to it ever again.
  3. To return to creatures their (formerly usurped) rights so that you meet God Almighty in a state of purity in which no one has any claim against you. 
  4. That you fulfil every duty that you neglected in order to satisfy your obliga­tion in respect to it. 

 قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

Say [that Allah declares,] ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed Allah will forgive all sins. Indeed, He is the All-forgiving, the All-merciful. (Surah Zumur/53)

As Allah stated in the Quran He forgives His servants, so if you have repented sincerely and never repeated those words again then you are forgiven and you are a Muslim. Do not let Shaitan overcome, rather study more about God and Tawhid to get closer to Him. But if some of the things such as Qadha Salat or fasts are there, along with the repentance one should also perform the Qadha to be forgiven.

I would recommend you read the books regarding belief(Theology) to strengthen your beliefs. One of the easiest books to understand is: www.al-islam.org/fifty-lessons-principles-belief-youth-naser-makarem-shirazi

May Allah(swt) grant you success

Wassalam,

Syed Haider