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advice how to convince parents for marriage


Asalam alaikum. I am a 26 year old doctor single. We are 2 sisters. My elder sister is married. I want to marry a guy who is doing mba. The problem is my parents only want me to marry a doctor. This is their utmost rule. But the man I want to marry is a very decent guy. His parents want to talk to my parents regarding marriage. But I am afraid how my parents would react. Also my sister rejects my every proposal. She says I should marry at least after 2 years. And she would convince my parents to reject this proposal also because the guy is doing mba and he is not a doctor. And my parents always listen to whatever she says. Plz I need sincere advice as to how to convince my parents for marriage with this man. He has a very decent loving family who like me very much. And i personally think I am 26 so it’s about time is should get married but my sister does not think so.


Salam Dear Sister.

I would suggest that you have a clear conversation with your mother about your marriage plans whilst explaining her the right criteria to look for in a spouse according to Islam, and then calmly and respectfully allow her to voice her objections. It may turn out that either of your parents haven’t had a chance to really get to know your deep thoughts.
You can also explain your mother in privacy that none of your siblings have a right to choose your partner or object to the choice youve made if it be according to the Islamic Sharia. Your Father is the person who has the final say to allow your marriage to happen or not.
If you convince your mother that the spouse you have selected for yourself has the right criteria for marriage, she can also convince your father that this is a suitable partner for you and any decent profession with a lawful income is good enough to consider when selecting a spouse. It wouldn’t do any harm to also encourage them to do some findings on the man you are inclined to marry.
Remind your mother that at your age, many women have already settled and have children also. In the same way, you need to get married also and have a family of your own before its too late to find the right match or fall into sin.
If you feel awkward in doing so, then you could involve someone who is able to talk to your mother eg, an aunt or a close freind to whom you can confide before they speak to your mother.
In the end, even if theyre some hard feelings or misunderstandings between you and your sister, try being as respectful as you can and time will heal everything inshAllah.
After doing your part, leave everything to Allah s.w.t and inshAllah the outcome will be for the best that is meant for you.

Salma Alavi.