The World Federation One Stop Fiqh

Ask an Alim

My Partner’s 1st Wife Not Accepting Me As His 2nd Wife



I was unhappy in my marriage as my ex-husband was abusive towards me and restrained me to do things.

I was seeing a married man in which my marriage broke up , I am islamically divorced .

He is willing to make me his second wife but his wife is refusing . We both have been in deep zinna which we both know is not permissable in our religion.Only because He has promised me InShaAllah he will do the right thing ,but his Mrs is a new muslim and they have three children.

Is there any way where we can convince her to change her mind .? she knows evreything about both of us. I have tried making her understand and talk to her in a civil manner but refuses.

Please advice what we should do .


Alaykum Salaam

Without doubt, adultery is detested by God and condemned in many verses
and traditions. You have the option to have a halal relationship by
marriage , either temporary or permanent. The zina should stop

As for your other query, it is not unusual for the first wife to be
reluctant with this arrangement. You might ask yourself if it is worth
pursuing this relationship if it jeopardizes another family who already
have children.

From what you describe, it appears unlikely that their marriage will last
if the two of you insist on continuing your relationship and in the long
run, it may not be the best future for you

With best wishes

Abbas Jaffer